Monday, November 27, 2006
hehe. i bet the look on that guys face when he got to the doe was priceless. i can see him walking over, a bigass grin on his face, then as he gets closer, the corners of his smile slowly drop until his face is plastered with a wtf look. i bet the real reason behind all the confusion is that the deer had a recent sex change but didnt have enough doe (no pun intended) to get the job completely done. unfortunately for mrs. bambi, she....he didnt make the best choice as to what it wanted changed.
Thursday, November 16, 2006
"SYDNEY, Australia - An American man caught 116 tossed grapes in his mouth in three minutes in what he hopes will become a new Guinness World Record, his publicity team said Thursday.
Steve "the Grape Guy" Spalding, 44, of Dallas, Texas also set a personal record for endurance grape catching, using his mouth to catch 1,203 grapes thrown from a distance of 15 feet over half an hour, according to publicist Deanna Brown.
No Guinness World Records officials were present at Spalding's grape-gobbling attempt, carried out Thursday in Australia overlooking Sydney's iconic Opera House.
But Brown said observers had filmed Spalding's attempt and would be submitting forms to Guinness officials in the hopes of creating a new record for speed grape-catching — the most grapes caught in the mouth over three minutes.
No current speed grape catching record exists, she said.
Guinness World Records has no offices in Australia, and the organization could not immediately be reached for comment."
I wonder how long this guy's been practicing grape catching. 44 year old highschool drop-out who lived with his mother until he got the bright idea to think up some world record that no person in their right mind would even think to try, and dedicated his life to it. That's devotion ladies and gentlemen. A lifetime of grape catching, and he's going for the gold. This man has put his heart and soul into the rare art form of catching flying grapes, and his dream may finally come true as he shoots for the world record. Will he be able to break this incredibly difficult record? Wait. No one's ever done this before.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
"WICHITA, Kan. - A botched kidnapping ended with one of the assailants shooting himself in the groin, Wichita police said. The man had just stuck the gun back into his waistband when it fired, shooting him in the left testicle.
He cringed, causing the gun to fire again and strike him in the left calf.
When the shooting ended, the 23-year-old man managed to walk himself into the hospital for treatment, police said. He and his two accomplices, ages 18 and 20, were arrested for aggravated attempted kidnapping and conspiracy to obstruct justice.
The men were attempting to kidnap a teen in a dispute over stereo speakers, police said."
Now this is one smart crook. Stick a loaded gun ready to fire into your pants, shoot yourself in the nuts, then bend over and have it go off again into your leg. I think at that point I would have just said, "Wow, there is no way im gettin out of this" and shot myself one more time. And then he had the balls to go to a public hospital for treatment. Well, he didn't really have the balls after that. Talk about irony.
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
"NEW YORK (Reuters) - Seeking the perfect holiday gift for the golfer who has everything? Try flavoured golf tees.
U.S. inventors John Packes and Ramon Peralta have come up a product line called Tasty Golf Tees in various flavours including mint, cherry, strawberry, and grape.
Mint is the strongest-tasting flavour in the range.
"It will knock out the foulest of cigar, beer breath within five seconds," Packes of Norwalk, Connecticut, told Reuters on Tuesday.
Packes said they came up with the idea while walking along the fairway one day and noticing that many golfers popped a tee in their mouth as they headed to the next hole or waited to tee up.
Tasty Golf Tees, which cost about 25 cents each, are made from uncoated wood, which is sanitised and flavoured. They look and play like regular wooden golf tees.
"Some people just look at you funny," said Packes. "'Do you really put it in your mouth?' They give it a shot and say 'This is kinda cool.'" "
Flavored golf tees. What is this world coming to? Next theyre gonna come out with edible golf balls, and you know what happens next. Some half-brained golfer who skipped lunch is going to get the urge and go in for a bite of the edible ball on the flavored tee, like it was some sort of 2 course meal, and get his head wacked off. This company must have a deal with a law firm, cause there's going to be lawsuits galore once people start thinking they can suck on a golf tee. As if golf wasn't funny enough before.
Monday, November 13, 2006
"STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A drunken elk is terrorizing children at a school in southern Sweden.
The elk was probably eating fermented apples in a garden and had become inebriated, Caiman said.
Elk can weigh as much as 500 kilos (1,100 lb) and personnel at the school described the erratic male as "completely mad."
"The children are really scared," the receptionist at the school near Molndal in southern Sweden told the Gothenburg Post.
Caiman said police had contacted hunters and that if the elk did not calm down, it could be shot."
Drunken elk....oh the possibilities. I want to know how it was terrorizing the children. School personnel say the elk was completely mad and if it didn't calm down it could be shot. What should they do, call up one of his friends and have him drive this poor elk home? Come on, its an elk! They really should just call up the game warden and tranquilize the thing and put it back in the wild. Poor guy just needs to sober up, thats all.
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Brazilian woman survives six shots to the head (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/brazil_shooting_survivor)
"SAO PAULO, Brazil - A woman was released from the hospital a day after she was shot in the head six times in an attack police blamed on her ex-husband, Brazilian media reported Saturday.
Patricia Goncalves Pereira, a 21-year-old housewife, was shot Friday after an altercation with her ex-husband, who was upset because she refused to get back together with him, Globo TV reported.
"I know this was a miracle," Pereira told the TV network. "Now I just want to extract the bullets and live my life."
Doctors could not explain how Pereira survived the attack. The .32-caliber bullets didn't break through her skull and didn't even need to be immediately extracted, doctors said. Pereira also was shot once in the hand.
Police said the ex-husband was still at large, Globo TV reported."
Wow, that's pretty amazing. This woman has one hard skull. Six shots to the head and not one broke through. I don't know about you, but I'd feel pretty safe after living through something like that. Hell, I'd sign up for the army. Who need's helmets and body armor when you have an inpenetrable skull! That definitely was a miracle. As for the husband, if I was him I would just turn myself in immediately. That woman survived six shots to the head, there's no way he's gonna take her out. That guy definitely deserves life behind bars.